Live.Laugh.Love

Day one without you

Friday, September 5

A lot have been going through my mind after the day. You were right, we should spend some time apart but I will never accept the death sentence, at least not for now. I apologised for dealing with it so immaturely. All i did was cry and cry uncontrollably. I didn’t manage to address the issues we had and i didn’t really express how i felt throughout our relationship. As i reflected, i laugh at myself for my behaviours. i kept asking you questions like ‘are we still gf bf?’ ‘are we still going on the trip?’ ‘how about hello kitty run?’. i sounded immature and the questions i asked are totally irrelevant and tt is exactly what you don’t need me to do now. Well, this is me. i behave like this when i was emotionally disturbed, which in this case, i was very emotionally disturbed.

A lot of thinking flow through my mind while i really think though our relationship, but i am not quite ready to pen it down. you are right. we really indeed need to spend some time apart. but i am scared, i alr started to feel lonely wo you. i am so scared this is it. the voice of you saying ‘we need to break up’ and ‘i am sorry’ kept ringing in my head. i am so scared, so scared that the love of my life will just be gone and never come back...

i guess this is when i really start thinking about our relationships. on the past few times, i did think but perhaps not so thoroughly. i took things for granted. i never thought we will really end? i thought after we make up, things will magically disappear. you will never know how it will hurt you till it ends huh.

-Sign Off @ 1:36 AM :)