Live.Laugh.Love

day 6 wo you

Thursday, September 11

today is a v bad day, v bad. i feel there is no point of redemption to our relationship. i guess what had been holding me past few days is today. cos all along i wanted to contact him today. cos tmr is his soccer competition. and it is in the afternoon and i am off. we had been talking abt it, how he wanted me to go and watch him play soccer like finally. i sounded really positive of things when i msg him and then i mustered all courage to ask him tt qns. 'can i go? :)' i feel really excited for his reply, part of him thought he will say yes.

but then he replied, 'hmm don't think convenient leh. better not ba?' with that, he straight away go mia. his last seen was tt sentence. i checked his fb, he isn't online too. though he is at his boss chalet now, but he will probably still access to what apps. maybe his phone no batt? maybe he just switches his phone off just cos he knew i will bug him? there are several times when i wanted to just call him. but i feel i shouldn't. i tried googling airforce soccer competition, hopefully i can fine out the venue and time so tt i can go there? but i cannot find anythinggggg 'CRIES!'

it just feels...that things cannot be salvaged. he is like so cold towards me. i wonder how do he even feel when he received my msg? maybe there isn't love anymore. i rmb he telling me, tt time ker hui wanted to patch things up with him, but when he met her for dinner, he had no feels for her alr. i am just scared i will end up like her. i keep telling myself what am i supposed to do without him in my life, i love him so much. and the thought that i can't witness him play soccer tmr just tears me apart. when is the next time we will msg again? when the osim thing arrive?

i just want a chance to express my thoughts. i want to make things right. can we do that and not give up?

-Sign Off @ 12:44 AM :)