Live.Laugh.Love

day 15 wo you.

Saturday, September 20

met zs for my birthday treat today. half the time i was hoping it was you i am spending my fri night with. perhaps watch maze runner and dinner with you. suddenly, what we eating doesn't matter. is the company tt matters. thinking back, it is funny how we are always so indecisive in what to eat. i guess it was me, you are always fine with eating anything, as long as is not beef? haha

after meeting zs, i met kitty. finally some girl times. and i pour my hearts out to her. i like how i can talk to her abt anything. when i say anything, i meant it. i dare to admit the ugly me. all the things which i have done wrong in the relationship, i told her. and she also tell me jackson wanted to break up with her too. different thing was he agreed to give her another chance on the same day and a few mths later, he proposed. sigh, i think situation with him isn't the same. it has been so long. he didn't what apps me at all.

kitty and i agreed. how can men be so heartless suddenly. when they change, they really change and don't look back. but i won't give up, i wanna keep trying because i am v sure he is the men i wanna be for the rest of my life. i reckon the fact tt i simply cannot live wo him. i wanna tell him so many things, i only scared i do not have the chance to. i wanna tell him, i want to change. i need this last chance to change. to prove to him i can make him v happy in this rs. i want to tell him that i am so sorry for taking him for granted most of the time and i wanna make it up to him. i wanna tell him i will control my temper and i have the confidence to do it cos i don't wanna lose him. i wanna tell him i am so sorry for having selfish thoughts all the time. i wanna tell him i will start thinking of the future. i wanna tell him i can contribute monetary in the rs. i wanna tell him he don't need be the sole contributor to the rs. i wanna tell him i love him a lot, and with tt amt of love, i can change me.

so, can you don't be so heartless?

-Sign Off @ 3:58 AM :)